This blog post comes to you with overwhelming joy. I have been without a computer for over a week and finally got it back. It’s a dark, dark world out there without technology and our separation revealed how attached I am to my laptop. I was lost without having the option of going online. I began convincing myself I had to google things, things that I would have never cared about if the information were easily accessible. But the inconvenience of not having it at my fingertips made the need of google-ing seem that much more pressing. My daily life was thrown off, how on earth was I going to know what to wear for the day without checking the weather? How was I going to know which celebrity marriage was over without the gossip websites? And how was I expected to go ANYWHERE if I couldn’t google map directions?
My week-long break from my most dependable companion was not pretty. I had to take up recreational activities that I’m not proud of. Reading being the main one, but handwriting notes to myself a close second. I forgot how empowering it was to feel the weight of the pages in a book fall to the left, knowing you’ve accomplished something. But just as quickly as I took up reading, I turned my back on it and burned all the books within reach, a way of destroying evidence of my unfaithfulness to technology before my computer’s return. While writing reminders to myself on sticky notes I realized I had forgotten what my handwriting looked like. Several years ago I had adopted Times Roman as my official handwriting font, so why did it look so dangerously close to Marker Felt?
As strong as my attachment to technology is, my relationship with it is turbulent to say the least. I do not understand pretty much anything about computers, cell phones, and don’t get me started on fax machines—seriously, how do those things work? I am a traitor to my technology savvy generation. When I was at my last internship, I was always put in charge of finding out why an iPad wasn’t sending emails, why the computer’s screen was pink, why the Blackberry wouldn’t hold a charge, and the like. I would be on the phone with tech support as they talked me through every step, starting with holding the device right side up. But I would no doubt fall behind, but instead of admitting defeat and asking the representative on the other line to repeat the step, I would pretend as if I was moving right along with them. I would quickly fall several steps behind and become completely lost. But in the end I would lie; say it was fixed, hang up and call again, crossing my fingers for a different representative. With the second call I would be ahead of the game because I would be starting mid-solution, but always fell behind again. Redial became a good friend of mine.
I encounter similar problems with technology in my home life. I can’t program a universal remote, which has made home entertainment a struggle. The other day I decided to watch a movie, the perfect way to enjoy a relaxing evening. Or so I thought. I had to hunch over the DVD player waiting for the previews to end so that I could press play and finally kick back. But there were far too many previews and when I glanced back at my meal sitting pretty on the coffee table I could see the steam slowing down. I knew that I could not wait for these previews to end and risk my food being cold. I urgently pressed the “skip” button to speed up the process. A small hand appeared in the corner of the screen as if to say, “stop that right now. I call the shots around here”. And it was true. I am no match for technology. We have a very abusive and unfair relationship. I am lost without technology, and am willing to spend hundreds of dollars to bring it back in my life.
With my love/hate/obsession with technology aside, our movie has been postponed until after the first of the year. So it will not be so much a wonderful Christmas present for us all, but more a Ground Hog Day present for us all. And isn't that really the whole purpose of Ground Hog Day anyway?
No comments:
Post a Comment