Going to the gym never fails to leave me in an awkward situation that I would rather not be in. I always leave shaking my head in confusion over an encounter some weirdo or another. Like, those who wear flip flops to the gym. Or those who sing along to their iPod while on the stationary bike. Or those who strike up a conversation with you while you’re lifting weights, notice your Colorado t-shirt and begin quizzing you on the Ivy league schools you CLEARLY didn't get into and their locations.
But my absolutely least favorite kind of people to encounter at the gym is anyone, male or female (although it's almost always women), wearing an insufficient amount of clothing for their less than bangin' body. It’s not even appropriate when you do have a bangin’ body because you just look conceited. There’s a whole lot of movement at the gym so I find it better for everyone if you ditch the crop top if it doesn’t cover your beer belly. Or ditch it if you have rock hard abs because it just reminds me of my beer belly. This has taken such a toll on my mind that I have created a new rhyme, loosely based on this popular, and also annoying, reminder you can often find scribbled in bathroom stalls:
If you sprinkle when you tinkle
Be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.
To all sports bra and spandex short combo wearers, I say:
If you jiggle when you wiggle
Be a normal person and put a shirt on.
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