Table Manners

I’m an individual that loves my food. I tend to plan most of my life around what I’m eating and when I’m going to be eating next. There is nothing more enjoyable than sitting down with good company and having a chat over a fine meal. There is one aspect of restaurant dining that truly ruins the experience, and that is live music. I like to hear what my company is saying, or more accurately, I like them to hear what I’m saying because it’s probably much more interesting. But this has been made virtually impossible with live bands harassing your eardrums! I can appreciate the soft classical music in the corner, but I’m talking the four-man band fully equipped with a drummer, guitarist, lead singer, pianist and, of course, groupies. I love live music normally, but not when I’m being charged 15 dollars for an appetizer. It is the nicer restaurants that are not set up for such “entertainment”, often times there is no stage leaving tables directly in the spit zone of the performers. Tables are squeezed awkwardly together so that you have to pole vault over your neighbor to get to the bathroom. No, these restaurants are not designed for such nighttime attractions. I especially hate when the band gets into the music and misunderstands the audience’s enjoyment. Don’t start clapping your hands and pumping up the audience for your Ray Charles cover. The words “Let me hear yaaaaaaa!!” should never be shouted into a microphone at a restaurant that has a dress code. And if I seem uninterested or down right peeved at your overbearing set it’s because your aggressive “rocking out” makes the head of your bass dip into my soup.